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Dear Jean: While I was checking my 12
year-old daughter's Jean responds: Hi, Your twelve-year-old is a budding adolescent who will begin to distance herself from you and the rest of the family emotionally. She may have "an attitude," spend more time alone or with friends than with the family, and show other signs of changing her personality. Don't be alarmed. These behaviors are well within normal limits for this age and stage, though not very pleasant for you. She does not need to see a psychologist just because she's complaining about her family and saying she hates you, in email to her friends, or directly to you. This is pretty typical stuff. She will need her privacy at this age. You need to begin to respect this and don't be going through her email, her book bag, her room, etc. If you do, you may convince her that her home is not safe, and she will be forced to "go underground" and begin to keep more and more of her activities, thoughts, and feelings from you (and she will, in any case, keep things from you and even lie at times--this too is part of growing up and growing away). I think that reading some of
the questions and answers in the Archives
would relieve your mind. You can find relevant Q&A's by Hope this is a bit helpful. The change you see at this age can feel quite alarming, but really, so far, it doesn't sound pathological, just distressing, from a parental point of view. Your job is not to control her, but to understand her and help her learn how to control her own behavior. Jean. Disclaimer: Ms. Walbridge's
response to your question is |
e-mail, I found out she tells her friends about how grumpy and
bored is the family she's living with and that she hates. I am
really dissapointed but don't know how to control the situation.
Should I take her to see a psychologist?