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Dear Jean: My "almost" 12 year
old son has changed in the last few Thanks! Jean responds: Hi, Welcome to the wonderful world of pre-teen angst! Young people this age typically are concerned with their physical selves: it is a time of great change, all of which is beyond their control, and it is kind of scary! It's possible that your son is beginning the adolescent growth spurt--it would be a bit early, but all kids are on their own time schedule. If so, his legs may hurt because he's growing--fast! There are also other possibilities, physical ones, which you can easily check out with a good pediatrician. As he approaches puberty, his
hormones are also changing, and he may be becoming more conscious
of his body generally--and worrying about it, as I indicated
above. "Am I okay? Am I normal? Is there something wrong
with me?" are all typical adolescent, and especially If there is something more serious going on in the social-emotional realm, it will show up in other ways--his performance in school, withdrawing from friends, sleeping or eating disturbance, drastic changes in personality, etc. In such a case, you should get some professional mental health consult. AND, I suppose it could be a bid for attention, or for reassurance, as he approaches this period of powerful change. Often pre-adolescents don't WANT "fussy" attention from parents, but especially at the beginning of this period, they may crave reassurance that "everything is okay." Without knowing more, it's impossible to say what might be going on, but if it's just a "situation mostly normal" thing, as implied in your letter--but he's being a little weird about physical stuff--I'd let him talk to his doctor once to allay his fears, and then don't worry about it. PS: Besides the above, you may also want simply to ask him if he'd like a little more of your attention these days --you imply by doing so that it's okay, if he does need this! Jean. Disclaimer: Ms. Walbridge's
response to your question is intended to be |
months. Still motivated in school and extra-curricular activities
which is I think a good thing, however, he seems to need a lot
more attention... also I noticed that he's afraid of things such
as stomach ache = something's wrong with me OR my leg feels weird
= I wonder what's wrong and I'm afraid. Perhaps these fears of
little things are need for attention? Any ideas?