Hi,  I am a 16 year old female and for about a month now I have been seeing this guy; just recently my granma found out that he was 19 and soon to be 20. I really like him and he likes me and respects me too. She says I am too young for him, but I have tried dating kids my age and I am not that interested in them; they all seem like they are jerks or just losers. How can I get my grandma to give me more freedom to go and see him? She is worried that I will do something off the charts since he is out of high school and is 19. Jean responds: Hi to you too, I get that it is frustrating to feel strongly for someone who also feels strongly for you but to be told you are too young to pursue the relationship. But I think I see your granma's side of things here: you've only been dating for about a month, so it's not had time yet to develop into something serious, and I think your granma would like you to give dating boys closer to your own age more of a chance before pursuing a relationship with someone that much older. When people are, say, 20 and 24, the four years' age difference doesn't matter so much as it does now, when the ages are 16 and 20. That's because, at 16, you're still in the adolescent development stage, whereas he is moving out of that stage. At these ages, three or four years makes quite a difference in terms of appropriateness for boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. I would have to wonder why your boyfriend is focusing his attentions on a girl so much younger than he. Does he not feel adequate to date a young woman who would also be a young adult, instead of a teen? I am not ruling out that this is the young man for you. Maybe he is. Time will tell. You are both young and can wait to see whether, in spite of seeing other people closer to your own ages, you still are drawn back to one another. If so, then in two short years' time (although I know that seems long to you), you'll be free to date whomever you wish. It's not a particularly good sign that you find boys nearer your age to be 'jerks and losers.' I suggest you take a look at whom you are attracting and see if your own choices are the problem here. I know for a fact that all 16- or 17-year-old boys are not jerks and losers, and I'm sure you are not either. So I'd have to say, try again--and wait to date an older fellow until you've cleared your teen years. Sounds to me like your granma has good sense; be grateful that you have her. Jean. Disclaimer: Ms. Walbridge's response to your question is intended to be educational and informative. It is not a substitute for face to face consultation or psychotherapy with a mental health professional.