Dear Jean:

There's a party next month (November) and I can't wear a mini skirt because I've a large leg but I'm not that fat and short. Some of my friends were fatter than me but they have a slimmer leg. Please help,what's the best and fastest way for me to have a slimmer leg? - T, 15

Jean responds:

Hi, T,
Thanks for writing to parentingadolescents.com.

I don't know of any fast way to make your legs slimmer. I've been taught that, when it comes to fashion, you need to choose those clothes that most flatter your body style. If that's not miniskirts, then avoid them. There are other clothes out there that can help show off your good qualities. Ask your parents if you can consult with someone who can help you find the styles and colors that are right for you--a teen fashion consultant. Whether they will help you in this or not, a book that might be really helpful is, "Teen Beauty Secrets: Fresh, Simple, and Sassy Tips for Your Perfect Look," by a former fashion model. (Click on the underlined text to take a look at it.) I'll bet there are other books on this topic at your public library, too. I think you'll find that all of the advisors stress that what's most important to your appearance is accepting the body that you have, not rejecting or trying to change it for the one you want. Very many women, let alone girls, are struggling to do just that.

A good all-around book for teen girls is, "Totally Me: The Teenage Girl's Survival Guide." Here's an except from the chapter on appearance:

"Girls of all ages are guilty of trying to alter their appearance to please others. That's such a waste of time and energy! It's so much easier just to please yourself and let others think what they will. Besides, the best way to please others is to love the person you already are.. . . The kids who focus on enjoying life instead of worrying about their looks are the ones who are the most fun to have around." (p. 216)

Wear something to the party that you feel comfortable in and that makes you feel pretty. Then try to ignore what other people think of it. Easier said than done, but a worthy effort that can build your self-esteem.

Hope this helps a little.

Jean.

Disclaimer: Ms. Walbridge's response to your question is intended to be educational and informative. It is not a substitute for face to face consultation or psychotherapy with a mental health professional.

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