okay... i am 14 years old... i have a friend who is 14 and she has been cutting herself... and idk what to do. i cry and pray everynight that she doesn't kill herself. she has always had a bad life but to result to this i dunno. its really sad to see her do that. and i dunno if i should tell a adult..... im really scared for her....  Jean responds: Hi, I can hear that you really care about your friend, and that says something good about you. But often it's hard to know how to help someone you care about. Here are some thoughts: How about telling your friend how worried you are about her. Perhaps you could share with her that you feel she has to get help. If there's a counselor or social worker in your school, or even a school nurse, she could ask one of them for help--or talk to any adult she trusts at school. If she absolutely refuses to ask for help, and will not talk to her parents either, then I think you could tell her that you feel like you need to tell someone in order to be acting as a good friend. If she threatens never to talk to you again if you do that, you could tell her that you hope she would change her mind about that, but that sometimes, even if it means losing someone's friendship, you have to try to act in their best interests. Then you could go ahead and talk to someone like the counselor/social worker/or nurse at your school. If you're afraid that she may increase her efforts to hurt herself in the face of knowing that you're going to talk to an adult about the situation, then I think you have to go ahead and talk go someone without giving her advance warning, and try to process it with her later. This is a heavy burden for you to carry, and it may help you also to talk to someone as well. Good luck, and good for you for caring. Jean