Dear Jean:
My son is 12 years of age and wonders why life is so miserable, I have told him it is due to chemical changes in his body. I would be grateful if you could reiterate my answer.
G, UK

Jean responds:

Hi,

Thanks for writing to parentingadolescents.com.

Well, I think that hormonal and other physiological changes preceding and during adolescence really do contribute to subjective experiences of mood swings, for instance. If that what your son means by life's being miserable, I am happy to concur with your explanation.

I would just wonder, though, whether it might be a good idea to draw your son out, a bit, on what he means by life's being miserable: you may be able to help him clarify his own thoughts and feelings and come to an understanding of something he can do to make life more pleasant. What-all is included in this miserable life of his? What can't he do anything about, what can he do something about, and does he want to do anything about anything?

Just in case it might be relevant, there is a book on sex ed for boys called "What's Going On Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask." It's intended for ages 9-12 and may be a neat gift for your son.

Jean.

Disclaimer: Ms. Walbridge's response to your question is intended to be educational and informative. It is not a substitute for face to face consultation or psychotherapy with a mental health professional.

top of page