[These comments are offered by a site visitor who read the Question of the Week [boyfriends] on May 17, 2000. This visitor's comments are not endorsed by Jean Walbridge or Karen Martin; they are offered in the spirit of allowing one visitor to comment to another.]

Dear Jean:

I wanted to know if you could e-mail my "story" to the mom of the wonderful teenage girl, with the reclusive boyfriend who ended up in jail. (That would be this week's question. [Original Q&A])

I was amazed at your insightful answer. That story hit too close to home for me to ignore, however.

The teenage daughter might want to read this:

"BEWARE"

When I was in high school, I excelled at various activities, and was academically above average. I had a very trusting and kind heart, and wanted to "save the world." I also wanted someone special in my life, to be exclusively mine and make me feel special.

I found that someone, I thought. He was smart, and artistic. He made me laugh, and feel like I was the most important person in the world. (By the way, my parents were loving and good to me, there wasn't any anger or feelings of abandonment.) I overlooked the fact that he had had a little "bad luck with the law, through no fault of his own...wrong place at the wrong time, kinda thing... I thought he could use "a break," and a friend. He convinced me that he had the same goals that I had, "fine, upstanding job, cottage and picket fences,etc."

My parents tried to warn me, and protect me. At 18, I told them "it was my life to live" and "if I am making a mistake, it is mine to make." I wasn't rebelling. I was just stating the facts.

I went to make a life with "the love of my life" and he (against my better judgment) convinced me that he wanted "a little me." Those were his words. He wanted a son. We had a son.

Fifteen years later, after many years of putting up with the hell of him being in and out of jail, not holding a job, using drugs, cheating, and finally just not being around, I am (and have been for most of my son's life) raising the "little me." Yes, my son is just like the father he never knew. He is always in trouble and it is never his fault. Not a cent has ever been paid in child support. Wow, when it comes to making mistakes, I did. I should have listened to my parents. I am working a job I hate just to make ends meet, and fighting to raise a functional child.

Think about this...please. When I think about the life I have wasted, I get so sad to think some other young girl might go through the same thing, all because she was soft-hearted and believed in someone she shouldn't have. So please, just BEWARE.

[These comments are offered by a site visitor who read the Question of the Week [boyfriends] on May 17, 2000. This visitor's comments are not endorsed by Jean Walbridge or Karen Martin; they are offered in the spirit of allowing one visitor to comment to another.]

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